By Kieron Worsell
Recently I was asked to contribute towards the infinite moments, all I could think was that I wasn't ready and I had no idea what to write about. Then I remembered something: if I let God take control of my life and everything in it, He will guide me through what to write, or speak through me in this short passage.
So often, both myself and Sarah have tried to control aspects of our lives with varying degrees of success. However, the story is very different when we let God have control in our lives. When we found out we were expecting Joshua we were both excited and nervous. We had suffered miscarriages before both Lily and Joshua and it left us generally unable to enjoy the pregnancies. When it came to Joshua's birth we thought we could control every aspect of it, desperate for a better birthing experience than we had with Lily.
Then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, Covid drastically changed not just the pregnancy for Sarah, but also the birth we had planned and wanted. We wanted me to be in the room with Sarah every step of the way, through induction and birth and again until Sarah and Joshua came home. We wanted Lily to come to the hospital to meet Joshua and to be honest we felt we were going to be cheated out of the experience we thought we deserved. In truth what came after was incredible.
Sarah went in to be induced, and I said goodbye to her, not knowing what would happen or how long it would be before I saw her again. She sat in the hospital, and as the day went on she felt that things weren't going as we had hoped they would, and she started to feel out of control, something that after the birth experience with Lily she was so afraid of. She had done everything that the health care professionals had said to do, however, up until this point she hadn't done what we are told to do at church, to worship and sing God's praise and to pray and talk to God.
It was at this point that she picked up the small wooden cross I'd bought her during my Alpha Course and asked God to take control whilst singing to 'In Control' and trusting that He would guide her through it all. From that moment Sarah felt at peace and that it was now God who was in control. She said she could feel God with her in the room, even the following day when I could join her you could sense that God was with us and He took control. He gave us the best possible midwifery team who had Sarah laughing and supported her through each step.
When the time came for Joshua to be born, Sarah would tell you that she got scared again and she doesn't remember much of the experience, she remembers having her eyes closed and feeling like she could see the presence of God in the room, near the window watching over her and guiding everyone in the room. When Joshua arrived he was perfect, it was the experience we had dreamed of with Lily and it was finally realised, and it couldn't have happened without God.
Attached is the song In Control and while you listen to it think about the times that you have let God take control in your life and the good that has come from it, or perhaps think about the aspects where you need God to take control of something you can't cope with. He's always there waiting, you've just got to let him.
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."